Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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