The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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