I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
