I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
