then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
