if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You took a bar mat shot.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
