she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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