I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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