I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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