I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
