you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
