This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
