the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
