I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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