my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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