3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
