I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Couch. On fire.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
