1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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