dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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