What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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