wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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