i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
