it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
