He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
false alarm. still invincible.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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