Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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