Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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