Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
