WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
