Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It's blow job season.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Randomize
