remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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