Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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