how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Someone came in the potted fern
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
