It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
