bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
