and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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