we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
