i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
