I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
