dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
