It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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