How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You ate ashes out of my bong
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
