okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
