Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
