She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Alive.
So much puke
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize