I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
its not stalking. its research.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
