My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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