Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
