Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize