and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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