I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
