EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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