You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
