his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There r osticjed everywhere
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
