i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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