soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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