When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
