Ambien. No doubt about it.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
