she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
