Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize
