this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
