Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
