I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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