If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
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