I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
How does one acquire holy water?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize