You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
