end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
two words: eviction party
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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