nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
